Driving a lap in the Human Race
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Simple yet complex. Deep yet shallow. Thoughtful yet selfish. Strong yet weak.
Those claiming to be vegetarians still eat fish. Clergy - alleged men and women of God - preach separatism and hate, although some are more subtle than others.
We see these incongruous realities every day. Leaders follow, geniuses play dumb and CEOs from bankrupt companies take megamillion-dollar bonuses.
Natural-born cowards send other people's loved ones to "fight for freedom" in Iraq but virtually ignore obvious genocide in Rwanda.
Second- or third-generation Americans with parents or grandparents who "no speaka no English no too good" use their one-generation head start to lord over newcomers.
But really no one - even people I aspire to admire - are immune from this human flaw.
Philadelphia Eagles' coach Andy Reid, with whom I have a love-hate relationship, built an offensive line suited for smash-mouth football and still throws the ball 70 to 80 percent of the time (particularly when syrup from his buffet breakfast gets on his play chart).
Open-minded music fans in the Delaware Valley literally kept that Bruce Springsteen eating in the early 1970s and he still can't find his way back here on the second leg of his current tour, coming only as close - or as far away - as Hershey and North Jersey.
John Edwards, the guy I once touted as presidential timber (even before my well-documented Hillary fling), acts holier than thou and cheats on his wife - who stood by him on the campaign trail with terminal cancer.
So, you'll have to excuse me if I don't feel any pangs of guilt about the heaviness I'm about to lay on you.
Yes, I generally lean left in my political views. Yes, I believe there are middle-class conspiracies designed to keep the middle class - or what's left of it in post-Reagan America - in chains.
Yes, I believe the alarmists who warn that the planet is melting. Yes, methinks the frightening rises in childhood asthma and autism have environmental connections.
And yes, in spite of it all, I still drive ... gulp ... a gas-guzzling SUV.
No wait, I take back the gulp. I have nothing - nothing at all - to be ashamed of.
It's my second one in a row, and I'll probably go for a third - or maybe even a van.
There's nothing you can say or do that is going to evict me from the driver's seat.
The earth's crisis began prior to my 1965 arrival and will continue well after my departure in 20-whatever. The fact that Gordon of Gordonville drives a mid-size SUV has less than zero to do with what's going on with the planet. If everyone ate just one less piece of meat - like the tarnished kind from Whole Foods (the place where the self-absorbed clientele sometimes makes me ashamed to be a Democrat) - it would do more than if we all traded in our SUVs for those "Smart" cars.
And have you seen those things, which are merely sedans cut in half? I'd rather suffer some form of public humiliation in front of a bunch of Hooters waitresses than be seen behind the wheel of one.
Moreover, any parent who ever puts a child in a "Smart" car should be reported to the authorities.
All of that aside, I have what I think are good reasons for choosing this vehicle - one complete with a six-CD changer and the capability to play my iPod - in a supposedly free country.
If you can get by in this day and age with a vehicle that does not allow the freedoms of a vilified SUV ... well ... good for you. The ginger ale is on me. You can probably do the hustle on water, too (without even knowing, or caring, where the rocks are).
You can, like Mary Tyler Moore of yore, probably take a nothing day and make it all seem worthwhile.
You are probably stronger than a train and faster than a speeding bullet.
Me, I'm a mere mortal - a runner in the "Human Race" with flaws and ... loaded with my own gnawing contradictions.
I'm a human who admits to be a little scared to drive in a winter storm. The equalizer for me has been the SUV. I'm still neither happy nor eager to venture out in treacherous conditions, but I don't hide under the covers anymore - with my knees knocking like a 115-pound junkie punk's first day in the general population Graterford - either.
Forgive me, please, if I like the idea that if we're out shopping, or just driving down the road, we can pick up a piece of furniture or a large toy for the princess and fit it in the vehicle without a spike in blood pressure.
And given the way the ignorant and arrogant masses are these days on the roads -always thinking that where they have to go and what they have to do automatically supercedes anyone else, all the while distracted by their cell phones and GPS systems - it's nice to know I'm inside a vehicle that can absorb a blindside hit.
In case you've missed my column the last 16 months, I'm also carrying precious cargo these days.
So, if I'm paying slightly more absurd gas prices than you are, that's between myself and my debit card and the pump.
I'm paying for peace of mind.
Sure, with the oil companies claiming record profits while jacking up prices, the idea of a long road trip seems out of the question right now.
Unless we take my wife's car.
Did I mention it's a hybrid?
It's small (I bang my head and/or some other part of my body getting in and out of the thing). Not much trunk space. Not good in the snow. The radio sucks (only plays one CD at a time and I still can't figure out how to play an iPod in there).
But the mileage is awesome.
Anyone who calls him or herself a liberal and cares about the environment owes it to Mother Earth to get on a waiting list that stretches from here to eternity and, when your name is called 82 1/2 years from now, overpay for one.
I am a creature of contradiction, am I not?
--
Jean-Louis Kayitenkore
Procurement Consultant
Gsm: +250-08470205
Home: +250-55104140
P.O. Box 3867
Kigali-Rwanda
East Africa
Blog: http://www.cepgl.blogspot.com
Skype ID : Kayisa66
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